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Joke of the Day

"Job openings. A female HR calls a guy: Lady: Sir, I have two openings. Man: Yes, I know. The lady hangs up."

"What do you call a crocodile that can't have sex? A reptile dysfunction."

"[hospital] DOCTOR: you're ok ME: so it was just a dream DOCTOR: no your heart did turn into a bowl of cereal but your system is accepting it"

"If you ever get attacked by a gang of clowns... go for the juggler."

"Why does a Frenchman never eat more than one egg at breakfast? (for those linguistically aware Redditors among you) Because one egg is un oeuf"

"My mom passed earlier today. It's sad of course, but I know one day she'll stop and say ""Hi."""

"""I need a boyfriend"" No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty."

"What do we want? Race Car Noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeoooooooowwwww!"

"I'm so irritated This is the 5th ATM I've been to today that has 'insufficient funds'."

"They say love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit"