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Joke of the Day

"[looking at ceiling of Sistine Chapel] mmm its a little busy."

"Saw a sign that said ""piso mojado"" and all I could think about was . . how that piso just came here to do the work Americans pisos don't want to do."

"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning. You have a choice to make: Lunch or the movies?"

"Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"""I'm independent"" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace."

"The therapist told my wife and I not to go to bed angry... we haven't slept in 36 years."

"Why didn't George like driving through tunnels with people in his car? He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome."

"A guy goes to get a physical... The doctor says ""Sir, you have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""

"I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey... But I turned myself around."

"What's the difference between a blowjob and a burger? Oh, you don't know? We should do lunch sometime."