76696

Joke of the Day

"One thing that all us white guys from the suburbs can agree on is if a black guy has a British accent, we're 85% less scared of him"

"Putting a woman on a $10 makes sense . . . . . . no one really wants a 1 or a 5. (As heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)"

"At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, ""This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."""

"Coffee shop barista thinks I look homeless because I'm fashionable. Joke's on her. I look homeless because I'm lazy."

"Ladies, never agree to do an@l, save it for when you do something so bad a blowjob can't fix things."

"I like that the doctor always asks if I'm a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit. No shit? Thanks. Here's all my money."

"A PS4 fan and an Xbox One fan started fighting! Someone call the ambulance! *Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U*"

"Me: *sneezes* Mom: Remember February 17, 2009 when I told you to bring a jacket?"

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be baygulls"

"I've been on this new Vodka diet. It's great, I've lost 3 days already!"