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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, never agree to do an@l, save it for when you do something so bad a blowjob can't fix things."

"If I had a time machine I would go back to the Star Wars era and kill baby Darth Vader"

"""I hope this makes them name a radioactive turtle after me"" Michelangelo thought as he painted the Sistine Chapel ""that would be hella rad"""

"A taser but for people who say ""it is what it is""."

"How is Donald Trump like a VW Bug? They both spew toxic hot air disguised as being good for Americans."

"I have high blood pressure, but my dogs don't. So, from now on I'm only getting upset about squirrels and mailmen."

"A prisoner convicted of beastiality has escaped. Recent reports confirm he's on the lamb."

"Why don't black girls wear underwear to cookouts? To keep the flies off the fried chicken."

"believe that the members of the dental profession are the only men who can tell a women to open or close her mouth and get away with it."

"My parents tried to surprise me with a car this Christmas... Fortunately they missed."