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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence? A falcon genius."

"I like being handcuffed, but not plant heroin in my car, handcuffed."

"Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage Elves: no! Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light"

"They say 1 glass of wine a day is good for your heart. But what about 7 glasses of wine once a week? I'll let you know how that works out."

"I hate dating black girls, I always need to explain that it wasn't me who gave them those black eyes..."

"Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother"

"Christiano Ronaldo races with himself. Who won? No one. They both came second."

"Okay amateur photographers, the 1,000,000,000,000th close-up photo of a flower has been taken.It's safe to move on to other objects now."

"How many? How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but I have no idea how they got in there."

"I once dated a model, but I always preferred the earlier versions. This particular one was not very user-friendly, she was high-maintenance and my friends would always borrow her for personal use."