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Joke of the Day
"Christiano Ronaldo races with himself. Who won? No one. They both came second."
Next Joke
"They say if your erection lasts... They say if your erection lasts more than 4 hours that you should call a doctor... I say you should tell your wife to call some friends!"
"Baby you were beautiful Until your Photoshop 30 days trial expired"
"I hate to call it ""one night stands."" I prefer ""auditions."""
"Q: How do you catch a red elephant? A: With a red elephant trap."
"My girlfriend told me she almost choked on her birth control this morning. It looks like it almost did it's job."
"Telling somebody you love them is like telling them your dream from last night. You can explain all you want. They'll never understand."
"I once sent nude pictures to everyone in my contacts list. Not only was it embarrassing... It cost me a fortune in stamps."
"[lunch break] Gf: I have 30min Me: you thinking what im thinking? Gf: oh yea *starts undressing Me: *googles closest laser tag location"
"Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off."