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Joke of the Day

"Just read a story in a magazine that a woman is claiming she was raped by an alien.. Big Deal!.. So was Lady Gaga's mother"

"My wife was choking so I quickly googled ""how to save a life"" Was a good song to drown out the noise she was making."

"Me and snoop dog worked together. It was a joint project"

"Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed? Because he is lying."

"I dream about living in a world where Adobe never asks me to update it."

"This bloke at uni today told me he had 90 degrees... I said 90 degrees how is that even possible? He said you just need to look at uni from the right angle"

"[a Swarm of Bees requests to be your friend] um ok [a Swarm of Bees has invited you to event ""Come Outside""] what tha"

"How to pass the Bechdel Test ""Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt."""

"How did the hipster burn their lips? They ate the pizza before it was cool"

"My boss just told me that I'm doing the work of three men... Moe, Larry and Curly"