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Joke of the Day
"I got offered a job at McCormick... ...but it was just seasonal work."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a complimentary cocktail and major brain surgery? One is a free bottle in front of me, the other is a pre-frontal lobotomy."
"You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a ""clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup"" kind of morning."
"Why is a toothless dog like a tree? It has more bark than bite."
"Yo mama, so fat.... that when she walked outside to get the mail, it measured on the Richter Scale."
"What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder without a protein shake? No whey Jose"
"Why did the man bring his bed with him to the hospital? It's because he heard hospital beds have a high mortality rate."
"I tried to catch some fog yesterday Mist"
"There's no ""k"" in team either. This is fun. What other letters aren't in team?"
"Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning? He was an excellent conductor"