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Joke of the Day

"You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a ""clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup"" kind of morning."

"The only lie Republicans haven't told about Obama is he's white."

"What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits? A Curtis-y flush"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way, but his food will become a pizza history."

"One day I'll cure blindness. You'll see! You'll all see!"

"Did U hear they're remaking 'Dirty Dancing' & Miley Cyrus is gonna play the abortion."

"I like anal sex the way I like my coffee"

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge"

"What type of missiles were used in the Movie Top Gun? ""Tom"" Cruise Missiles."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."