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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade? acidic juice"

"Somebody in here smells really good. I will hunt you down. I will sniff you."

"But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :("

"[speed dating] DATE: ding ME: did u just make the ding sound with ur mouth DATE: no ME: we have 4 minutes left DATE: *louder this time* ding"

"Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border. How did they train it to do that?"

"Is your penis Ant-man? Because whenever it's time to impress, it shrinks."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see the idiot. Knock knock *Who's there?* The chicken..."

"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"

"What is it called when you give money to a plains bison? A buffaloan!"

"What did the pebble say to the rock? I wish I was a little boulder!"