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Joke of the Day

"My dad's not an alcoholic... ...He just collects empty bottles, sounds so much better, doesn't it? ~ Stewart Francis"

"Why dont you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because theyre really good at it!"

"Sorry I brought my own turntables and tried to battle your wedding DJ"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock down a cheerleader's throat"

"I like to watch fat people walk while a tuba plays in my mind."

"What do you call a German with a bad attitude? Sauerkraut."

"MORMON ELECTION GAME: Every time Romney becomes president, drink."

"My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs."

"A guy walks into a Kinkos and asks, ""Do you have any colored printers?"" To which the clerk responds, ""It's 2016 man. You can use any printer you want."""

"I miss you like... post your funny ending! let's see what we get..."