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Joke of the Day

"Sean Connery was injured last night in his sleep when some books fell on his head. He could only blame his shelve."

"Asked a tennis player about his views on Trumps 2nd Amendment gaffe ( joke ) and Omar Mateens father sitting right behind her in her rally 1. Trumps Comment: Foul 1. Hillary's: Unforced Error"

"I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat. So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious"

"Q: I'm hungry. A: Nice to meet you, Hungry!"

"What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A Synonym Roll."

"You can freeze a human to -273.15 C He'd be 0K."

"Q: How you can tell if a ghoul was in your fridge? A: It leaves footprints in the butter."

"Wrong number calls are annoying but not nearly as much as right number calls."

"was thinking i would go away this easter. figured i would just hang around instead. its what jesus would have done"

"What did the astronaut see on his skillet? Unidentified frying (flying) objects."