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Joke of the Day

"Just so we're all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can't make a cell phone call from my basement."

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest accomplishment?"" Me: ""I was in a lot of people's MySpace Top 8s back in 2004."""

"I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached."

"If you ask a police dog if he's a good boy, legally he has to tell you."

"The dyslexic pregnant virgin said it was an act of Dog."

"A rouge English cavalier from the Middle Ages is magically sent into the future to depose Thailand's most ruthless dictator. One knight in Bangkok makes a hard man humble."

"My roommate from California was homesick So I stole his water bottle to make him feel more at home."

"Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for a night Light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates, they'll kill your dog."

"How many people live in South America? A Brazilian."