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Joke of the Day

"""Sir, we lost the platoon. All our men are gone."" A lone camouflaged fedora is seen in the distance. ""not all men"""

"I'm smart but not ""know when to stop eating"" smart."

"What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist? A sociopath sees people as things; a buddhist sees things as people."

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"

"I can't help but pronounce A, E, I, O, and U very aggressivley. I think I have irrititable vowel syndrome."

"people are like ""pokemon is basically dogfighting"" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence"

"There should be a self-destruct button for when someone catches you taking a picture of yourself."

"I went for a ride on my Vespa and nearly got hit by a Prius. That would've gone down in history as the gayest wreck EVER."

"Who was the least guilty President of the them all? Lincoln. He was in-a-cent."

"I had explosive diarrhea On the bight side i started the year with a bang"