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Joke of the Day
"States are like butts No one likes the flat ones."
Next Joke
"Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes"
"Whats the greediest nut? a cashjew"
"Someday I'd love to treat my wife to some luxury items, like a BMW, a Louis Vuitton bag, or genuine HP ink cartridges."
"Judging by how all of these ladies tweet about cucumbers I'm pretty sure size does matter because I never see them tweeting about carrots :("
"My boss told me that I have to stop masturbating at work. I didn't think my patients minded."
"He called me passive aggressive. I just smiled and left. Cut his brake lines on the way out for good measure, though."
"When life gives you lemons, make a dress with them. -Lady Gaga"
"Any one wanna hear a funny joke? What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?"
"I got really drunk last night, so I decided to take the bus home... I've never driven a bus before!"