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Joke of the Day

"Some things you recycle, some you throw away. For example: Paper & plastic you recycle. Opportunities, love and your future you throw away."

"I hate being bipolar... But it's also pretty awesome sometimes."

"What do you call a Mexican Jedi? The chosen Juan."

"So Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says ""OH SNAP"""

"Racism, white supremacy, xenophobia, sexism, misogyny, etc...these things aren't wrong. They're just alt-right."

"LEONARDO DA VINCI: *on street corner* eeey girl! gimme a smile, girl! nah, not that big. make it cryptic, girl, like 'what is she thinking'"

"I got fired from the banana plantation for ""wasting resources"" All i did was throw out the Bent ones"

"Baby seal walks into a club..."

"What is the rudest part of the body? The privates. They're either dicks or cunts."

"a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds"