208509

Joke of the Day

"I got fired from the banana plantation for ""wasting resources"" All i did was throw out the Bent ones"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent."

"If life gives you melons... You might be dyslexic."

"Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating? 1.1 million stars"

"Date: Lets break the ice. Polar bear: break th-[shatters Coke bottle] BREAK THE ICE? What are you saying?! D: I mea- PB: THATS MY HOME LINDA"

"School Joke Principal: ""I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"" Johnny: ""Nothing, sir."" Principal: ""Exactly!"""

"Everyone please stop saying that today's date only happens once. EVERY date only happens once, that's how time works."

"The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn't worth life in jail."

"Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? Penis envy."

"Waiter there is a dead fly in my soup ! No its not it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !"