76081

Joke of the Day

"How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I suppose at least two. But where are you going to find a lightbulb that big?"

"I failed my spelling test I got an F for f-ort."

"John's mother in-law comes for a visit. So, how long will you stay,mom? As long as i'm welcomed. Oh, that's too bad, you should at least stay for a cup of coffee"

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom... ...and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European"

"If my kid turns out to be a criminal, I am totally blaming Grand Theft Auto and not my shitty parenting."

"I tried to watch the paralympic games.. I couldn't though because the channel was disabled"

"U2 just announced a world tour. Are they going tosell tickets, or just break into my living room and start playing?"

"My grandma keeps talking about her monthly checks, prescription drugs and how much she loves Miami. I think she's a rapper."

"I love going to the dentist. He fills all my cavities. Then checks my teeth."

"Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels? Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue."