160911

Joke of the Day

"I love going to the dentist. He fills all my cavities. Then checks my teeth."

"I buy vodka alone, people give me the ""Enough Vodka?"" look. I buy vodka with 4 kids, people give me the ""Are you sure that's ENOUGH?"" look."

"If you ever really want someone to call back, leave them a message saying, ""I've got tickets to..."" and hang up"

"Great joke I heard at a standup show in Houston this weekend. (Dark humor) Give a man a fish, and he you will feed him for the day. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend."

"How does a cow add and subtract? With a cowculator."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Because he had a hole in one."

"What is the hardest part about firing a black man? Waiting for him to show up."

"What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it? A denom-nom-nominator!"

"I like my women like Hillary Nasty and exposed !"

"Political opinions are like assholes If yours shows up in my Facebook feed I will probably block you"