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Joke of the Day

"Mom, what's an orgasm? Child: ""Mom, what's an orgasm?"" Mom: ""I don't know, dear. I never had one."" Dad: (Thinking) ""This bitch."""

"Where is Donald Trump gonna put all of the illegal immigrants once he arrests them? Juantanamo"

"My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant."

"""LOOK AT ME DON'T LOOK AT ME"" - Cleavage"

"I don't trust stairs They're always up to something"

"Just overheard a construction worker in NYC very angrily say ""there's no way to make brown rice taste good by itself."""

"I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old"

"I would imagine paying your bills at a library in Prague has to be easy. You know, with all of the Czech books and whatnot."

"I read murder mystery books starting from the middle. I like the double sided suspense that builds up."

"the girls who tweet their horoscopes every day are the same girls who get drunk and then cry at parties."