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Joke of the Day

"Just overheard a construction worker in NYC very angrily say ""there's no way to make brown rice taste good by itself."""

"What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza comes out of the oven."

"I went to Lowe's to buy a human-sized microwave & the guy loudly said they don't exist & then took me to a back room & they had lots of them"

"What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing."

"Just got a blow job in the elevator. It was a pleasure on many levels"

"What's the difference between Trump and a bucket of shit I don't have a shit bucket in my garage"

"What does pubic hair and parsley have in common? You just push them both aside and keep on eating."

"A breakfast buffet at my funeral so people will be happy. But with soy bacon and chia seed pancakes so they know it's a time to grieve."

"What goes thru a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's asshole."

"I made up a new word. Plagiarism."