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Joke of the Day

"The Wife just accused me of loving Twitter more than her. I said, ""but honey! I love you much more than Facebook or LinkedIn!"""

"What did the Jewish pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"""

"Q: Where do fleas go to surf? A: To the microwave."

"Why did the black Classic major think Oedipus was black? Cause he thought ""casta"" was Greek for ""moms""."

"WIFE: Shouldn't you be at work? ME: I took care of it. BOSS: [to the cardboard cutout of Shaq with my face glued on it] Nice work today."

"I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He insists he can stop at anytime."

"Waitress: Would you prefer your order with a side of fries or salad? Me: Would you prefer your tip with cash or advice?"

"What do you call a woman who can't draw? Tracy"

"Needles What are dull needles good for? Nothing, they're pointless."

"What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist? Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI"