7601

Joke of the Day

"I was told to do what I love I went to sleep."

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy in the number of Ipads I've won & the number of Ipads I own."

"What do you call Figrin D'an's first born boy? Son of a Bith!"

"People who comment alternate punchlines can just fuck off like do they not realize how not funny it sounds after reading the original joke (okay come at me)"

"What's the difference between pizza and a jew? Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"In porn, large breasted women home alone order a LOT of pizza and never have money. They've lots to learn about nutrition & cash management."

"Me: I heard you like men with a huge collection of words that they know and can say. Her: A vocabulary? Me: A what?"

"I ignored your Facebook Friend Request only because there isn't a ""Oh Hell No!"" Button!!!"

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!"

"Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says ""one second,"" wait more than one second before entering."