2749

Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy in the number of Ipads I've won & the number of Ipads I own."

"mad gf How do you know when your girlfriend is mad at you? She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary"

"What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684? The wrong answer."

"What's green and not heavy? Light green"

"How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub."

"Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They don't want to wear out the camel."

"My wife called me a paedophile yesterday Quite a long word for a 9 year old."

"Male excuses: 1. I forgot 2. I didn't know 3. I wasn't sure 4. What?"

"My friend tells me he gets 20 times more bitches than me I told him: u get no bitches because 20*0=0 :("

"God I'm glad chicken breasts don't have nipples."