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Joke of the Day
"Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago."
Next Joke
"A horse walks into a bar... and the bartender says why the long face? (Old I know) But I've heard so many variations on that one. What others are there?"
"I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Internet than to imaginary friends in the sky."
"What type of skiing do Jews prefer? Shlalom"
"I wrote in my diary and went through it with a bright yellow marker. It was the hi lite of my day."
"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."
"Him: you're so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me Me: that's really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse"
"Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks."
"Two men walk into a bar.... The third one ducks."
"Q: how can you tell it is almost St. Patrick's day? A: Everyone is taking out their Paddy-o furniture."