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Joke of the Day
"Guaranteed weight loss! Stop eating!"
Next Joke
"jokes don't kill people, people who don't get jokes kill people."
"I feel really sad for children with cancer and people who still use BlackBerrys."
"This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!"
"We should send Uma Thurman to Japan She's good at fighting 8.8's"
"One I just heard. Part of me says ""I can't keep drinking like this."" The other part of me says ""Don't listen to that guy. He's drunk."""
"*horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into a bar* *horse walks into an optometrist* Horse: Holy shit please help me"
"Did you notice the difference between Trump's inauguration and Obama's? Trump's crowd paled in comparison."
"What do you call a really nice sex addict? Compassionate."
"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes harmonica."