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Joke of the Day

"The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, ""Save the whales!"""

"There are two types of people in the world... ...those who pee in the shower, and liars."

"After an attempted mugging a few months ago I decided to start carrying a knife... now my muggings are a lot more successful"

"I wasn't good enough for you in high school but suddenly after 5 kids a husband and 3 boyfriends I'm starting to look good eh?"

"What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities"

"Did you hear about the new housing being built where dwarves can live at no charge? It's called the ""Stayfree Mini Pad"""

"Why would a porn site that only focuses on flight attendants be really successful? It only takes your left hand to type ""stewardesses"""

"Two blondes are driving. The first blonde asks, ""Is my blinker working?"" The second blonde checks the dashboard and responds, ""Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Hot, mocha, and overpriced. Prostitutes. I like prostitutes."

"Why is a doctor always calm? He got a lot of patients"