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Joke of the Day

"[horror movie in 2169] The killer creeps up behind the college co-eds and JUST STARTS THROWING GLUTEN EVERYWHERE [entire audience faints]"

"(NSFW) What did cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged."

"I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. ""Sir, those are Band-Aids."" Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some."

"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, just a little stitious."

"When cannibals ate missionary When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion."

"me: [trying to pronounce gnocchi] ""gnocc gnocc-"" waiter: ""who's there? haha"" me: ""this isn't a joke son"""

"Don't click this post You'll reg-reddit"

"A guy waved at me and ran over the other day... He said ""oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"" I said, ""I am"" -Demetri Martin"

"Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him? Polly want a Cracker."

"My doctor told me that I have to stop masturbating! Because otherwise he can't do his medical examination."