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Joke of the Day

"When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders... When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?"

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"Wolverine and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""No claws, please!"" They both leave."
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"
"It's not that hard to tell alligators and crocodiles apart... ...One will see you later, whereas the other will see you in a while."
"what do you call a cheap circumsion A rip off"
"what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib"
"What do you call a bowl full of leaves and epileptics? Seizure Salad."
"My friend Eric is having some real issues and shit is real bad for him... He's constipated"
"I was lucky enough to run into Terrence Howard in the street, and I told him that I saw his latest movie once. Condescendingly, as if I were an idiot, he replied, ""Don't you mean... two times?"""
"Puts cardboard cutout of myself at my desk a week ago* Receives check* Dang I just got a raise"
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