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Joke of the Day

"Mr. Schneider stood up in court. ""As God is my judge I do not owe my ex-wife any money."" Glaring down at him the judge replied ""He's not. I am. You do."""

"Does saying ""No Nigerian scammers"" in your ad really deter Nigerian scammers from scamming you Nigeriously?"

"If donald trump marries donald duck ,What will they name their child? Donald Dump"

"Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?"

"Your mum should get tested for HIV It will be the only positive thing in her life"

"Why is it called an ""almond"" in the tree but an ""amond"" when it falls to the ground? When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it."

"How much did the lawyer charge the prostitute to represent her in court? Nothing, he did her PRO BONER"

"I am all for self-belief, self-worth, self-esteem but a woman declaring herself hot and complementing herself on her own beauty smacks of serious desperation, delusion and self-conceit."

"It's no surprise that Trump is here, just look at all the movies where there is a black President and something comes to destroy the earth. All credits go to Larry Wilmore. ;)"

"How do you tell which nurse is the head nurse? shes the one with dirty knees"