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Joke of the Day

"""Haha you flinched"" ""No crap, you almost hit me in the face!"""

"Eastern Pun So I'm in the habit of watching international TV channels when I'm at home. I've noticed that Dubai's networks don't ever broadcast The Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do!"

"""What do we want?"" ""HEARING AIDS!"" ""When do we want them?"" ""HEARING AIDS!"""

"Everyone is making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow. :O"

"[sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] ""Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."""

"Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Venus de Milo Barbie ...made of rock; no head no arms"

"How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows. But everyone's got an opinion."

"Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Me: This relationship is what? Over."

"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."