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Joke of the Day
"Go away, mosquito. I've already had the blood drained out of me by my job."
Next Joke
"""I'm sorry"" & ""I apologize"" mean the same thing unless... you're at a funeral."
"A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing flaming feces at zoo employees. Three of the zoo employees were rushed to the hospital with turd debris burns."
"I have a condition that I eat when I can't sleep. Its called Insom-nom-nom-nomnia."
"Bioluminescent fry said to have a bright future"
"""Jesus take the wheel!"" I shout, but Jesus decided to pop out of the sunroof firing a machine gun at our pursuers instead."
"Islam is a religion of piece. A piece of you here, there, everywhere."
"If I'm ever on life support unplug me,, and then plug me back in again,, and see if that works."
"Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers? It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas."
"I like my drinks like I like my women.... Stiff and cold."