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Joke of the Day

"A joke I made up yesterday . . . Relationships are like socks. They're cool with me, as long as they are the same color."

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"I just saw the Kardashian sisters and now I feel more Christmassy. Ho Ho Ho."
"I love you more... - Darling, I feel that you love football more than me. - Honey, but I love you more than hockey."
"I really try not to make fun of fat people... They have enough on their plate"
"What's the number one killer of African-Americans? I don't know, just axe them."
"My watch broke a week ago I've been meaning to replace it but I don't have the time"
"All I want for my children is to be happy when .. .. they grow up, so I'll definitely advise them not to have any children."
"How many topologists does it take to change a baby? Assuming the baby can be transformed into the shape of a light bulb, only one."
"Why did the AC wave try to hang himself? He was sinusoidal."
"So I was sitting on the toilet this morning... ...and I look over and see this huge spider. It scared the shit out of me."
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