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Joke of the Day

"How many topologists does it take to change a baby? Assuming the baby can be transformed into the shape of a light bulb, only one."

"What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert? SYNONYM ROLLS!"

"Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? A: She turned it over and used the other side."

"I'm not rich like Jack don't have a mansion like Russell or have a Porsche like Martin but I do love you and want to marry you. I love you too but what was that you said about Martin !"

"I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer"

"What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender loving hare."

"But you didn't pick up Two Types of People: ---- 1. I called you but you didn't pickup ---- 2. I called you from my iPhone 6 Plus 64 GB and you didn't pickup."

"On a scale from 1-10, how much do I love symmetry? 5"

"TIL 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the entire population. Title."

"Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep"