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Joke of the Day

"Nobody likes the girl who brings the acoustic guitar guy to the party."

"Ever notice that after you and some friends order a pizza the only conversation you have is ""where the hell is the pizza?"""

"What exactly is the difference between a New York City Park bathroom and a Law & Order crime scene?"

"I've got a long history of suicide in my family; the good news is it skips a generation... so if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves."

"Why do men like Haunted Bees? boobees ! :D I'll show myself out."

"90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming."

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ? A: She didn't know what ONE came first..."

"I'm addicted to brake fluid... ...but I can stop whenever I want."

"Why was the Sublime cover band so bad? They don't practice Santeria."

"People are smoking weed today They all think that today is 4/20, too."