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Joke of the Day

"Here's how pessimism works. It never works."

"I don't like telling people I used to be a stalker. It sounds better saying ""I spent a lot of time studying a broad."""

"My dad's joke. 'Did you know there were Female hormones in beer?' Because, if you start drinking too much. You don't have the ability to drive, and you get fat."

"I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it."

"Who is Soulja Boy's favorite person ever? ..........YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!"

"What's Peter Pan's brother's name? Peter Pot. He gets so high he never lands."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"You could probably win the US election by promising to make the McRib a permanent McDonald's menu item."

"Why was Hillary Clinton running for President? Because it's easier than running from Law Enforcement."

"News: Trump inauguration met with record high temperatures. 451 degrees Fahrenheit."