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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"I like when I wear my glasses because then I have four-eyes I can roll at your ridiculousness!"

"My Grandfather had the heart of a Lion and a lifetime BAN from the city Zoo."

"Most of my workday is me thinking what my couch is doing right now."

"Leaving someone a voice mail is the new Myspace message."

"I once asked a girl out on a date to perform in my favorite hobby. She demanded there be no strings attached We had a shit day flying kites"

"I got some good tips on how to spice my roast chicken... I guess you could say it was (_) ( _)>- (_) Sage advice."

"What's better than two roses on your paino? Tulips on your organ."

"Knock knock Who's there? I need up! I need up who? Well go on then, I'll wait"

"I just saw a car with a big ""S"" on it... Look at the ""S"" car go !"