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Joke of the Day

"A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night... ... and he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, ""Hey, it was only $5. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"REMINDER: Joe Biden is the only American vice president in the last 15 years who hasn't shot a friend in the face."

"Why did the noodles go to rehab? To get yakisoba."

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"

"Therapist: what would you say to your dad if he were alive today? Me: sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead"

"Guy: I want a room Receptionist: Sorry no rooms available G: My name is improvement R: So what? G: there is always a room for improvement !!!"

"Did you hear that joke Ray Rice made? It has a great punchline."

"If you told them they would be on TV, millions would sign up for ""So You Think You Can Survive the Vacuum of Space""."

"good old family racism what do you call the leader of the black panthers movement? the maine coon"