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Joke of the Day

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"[First date] okay just dont let her know you're a trump supporter Her: so what kinda wine should I get Me: haha white is always the best"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... Most of it sucks."

"My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president."

"Why aren't dwarves allowed at nudist camps? They allways stick their nose in other people's business."

"Babies are just like turtles, keep them in water and also feed them turtle food."

"*gets on 1 knee* Jenny... ""OMG"" *places hand on heart and starts crying* ""This is great!"" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack"

"I had sex in an orchard today. I came in cider."

"What do you do when you come across an elephant? Wipe it off and apologize."

"Did you see the Broadway musical about the dictionary? It's a play on words."