75412

Joke of the Day

"What is your favorite ""There are two kinds of people..."" joke? My favorite is ""There are two kinds of people...those who cheat at 7-up, and god damned liars."""

"I find giving things a thumbs down is a very negative response. I choose to be positive and give things the middle finger up."

"My ex wife still misses me... BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER"

"My father always told me ""Son, you are what you eat"". Guess i'm a dick."

"I was going to make a joke about an oil refinery... but I didn't want to make a crude joke."

"What is Paula Deens Least Favorite Pokemon? Butterfree"

"TEACHER: please take off your hat in class *I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat* ME: I can do this 14 more times"

"You can make fun of the Amish all you want on the Internet They'll never see it!"

"Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything."

"MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else."