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Joke of the Day

"Kristen gave Sally 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Todd gave Sally 5 flowers and 3 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? Cancer."

"If you think it's hilarious that George Bush is getting a library, wait till you hear he was our PRESIDENT for EIGHT YEARS."

"who are the shortest people in the bible? The Shuhites"

"Why did the condom fly around the room? It was pissed off."

"This is what I say to people who are against abortions Don't get an abortion"

"Every time I delete a selfie, I imagine the sound of a Gremlin being burned alive by the sunlight."

"What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They're both fun to ride, until your friends find out."

"Five out of six people agree Russian roulette is completely safe."

"What do you call of group of black people? A group, you fucking racist"

"There's plenty more fish in the sea ""Actually we've 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod"" I'm bad at consoling dumped friends"