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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you ever hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent."

"Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar notes in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band"

"What's the difference between a trump supporter and a newly adopted Siberian husky? The dog has the mental fortitude to realize he's just gotten owned by a Russian."

"This is what I told my nephew when he said he wanted to be a videogame journalist when he grew up The only thing worse than a job in video games or journalism is a job in videogame journalism"

"My girlfriend named her pussy trouble. And now I'm always trying to get into trouble."

"How do you know you are dating a women, not a girl? A girl has no name."

"Kim - Where is North West? Kanye - *takes out compass* Kim - I mean my baby! Kanye - I'm right here. Kim - Jesus Kanye! Kanye - Yeezus*"

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"I think Jennifer Aniston was filmed on a green screen in 2003 and it gets released with a different background and co-star twice a year."

"I made fun of a lady swaddling her dog in a blanket and she overheard and turns out it wasn't a dog it was her baby hey have a great Monday."