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Joke of the Day
"If I ever got into the plastic surgery business I would call my company ""Breast Buy""."
Next Joke
"Everytime I hold someone's baby, I whisper ""You aint shit"" into their ear. Just to bring their huge baby-ego back down to Earth."
"I knew you'd come crawling back the minute I stole your wheelchair"
"Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!"
"I hate lollipop ladies They make me cross"
"How does Super Mario contact the dead? He uses a Luigi board."
"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard"
"[loud speaker] ""Hi shoppers I see a lot of confused guys with mustaches. we've moved the Hawaiian shirt section next to the pleated jorts"""
"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""you're next."" I do the same thing to them at funerals"
"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."