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Joke of the Day

"Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!"

"What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid? Reality"

"And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in ""Bath Time""."

"Why do lesbians like radishes? Because they like to get their daikon."

"What do you call a mexican drowning in mayonise Sin-co-dye-mayo"

"How do you kill a redneck? Wait until he fucks his sister and then cut the brakes on his house."

"What do mathematicians read for fun? conics"

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around."

"What do you call a black guy surrounded by a bunch of white guys? The Allman Brothers."

"How many bees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how do they get in there?"