203479

Joke of the Day

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn't stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we'd all be a lot skinnier."

"-Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you? -Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus."

"After a few days with family, a padded cell with WiFi sounds like the perfect getaway."

"What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling? An Ethiopian rave."

"Po.st Blog JOBS"

"Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ? They got jellygated !"

"Why should you never trust an atom? Because they make up everything.."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Why?' To get to the idiots house! (Immediately follow up with this) Knock knock 'Who's there?' A chicken!"

"What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear."