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Joke of the Day

"My friend Jay is going to name his newborn son ""K"" When I asked him why, he said he wanted to name him after himself."

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF "

"In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says ""everyone be cool! Act normal!""nnnExpecting that Father of the Year award any day now"

"What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape."

"Some people say telling a joke about chavs is as bad as racism Nonsense chavs aren't a race. They're a subspecies"

"My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart."

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."

"Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire? Because they can only semi retire."

"Hiw did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He was eating pizza before it was cool."

"How many white people does it take to change a light bulb? One, they just need to call a repairman."