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Joke of the Day

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."

"What do two gay guys have for breakfast? AIDS and bacon."

"Being fat is just a giant trophy for all of the awesome food you ate."

"I think the Oscars would be a lot more interesting if they had a ""Best Nip Slip"" category... or ""Best Back Burger."""

"Two cows in a field. One asks ""should I be worried about mad cow's disease""? ""Well I'm not"", the other replies, ""...because I'm a squirrel!"""

"My wife and I decided we don't want to have children anymore So anyone who wants one, leave us a number and adress and we will bring you one."

"The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered."

"I'm not looking for the woman who reads 50 Shades of Grey. I'm looking for the one that finds it boring."

"Two blondes are sitting on a park bench Suddenly one sniffs the air and exclaims, ""I smell a cock!"" ""Sorry,"" says the other. ""I farted."""

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven!"