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Joke of the Day
"My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !"
"Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"Just saw a guy on rollerblades. He was surprisingly sweat-free for having presumably ""bladed"" here from 1991."
"Teacher : Billy please don't whistle while studying. Billy : Oh but I'm not studying - just whistling !"
"Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It."
"If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it's a murderer, disguised as a duck."
"A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are through the roof."
"Due to my lack of sexual experience... I prematurely ejaculate every time I watch a baseball game."
"I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I will still cut you."