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Joke of the Day

"A man bets his wife she can't tell him something that will make him happy and sad at the same time. ""You have the biggest penis out of all your friends"" replies the wife."

"Bollywood movies are so long... I started watching one in 2014 and it's just finished in 2015."

"Each day of my life is like a chapter in a book.....deserving of a happy ending...."

"my girlfriend folded the corner on a page of my new book, rather than use a bookmark. so i gently folded her credit card, until it snapped."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"" And a Scottsman says ""Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"""

"Have you heard there's a new disease you can get from using Linux? It's Terminal. (OC joke.)"

"What kind of bees eat brains? Zombees"

"I was called a faggot by an angry homeless woman last night. I would've been offended but I was too busy living in a home."

"There's no time capsule quite like the pocket of a coat that's been in the closet for a year."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's free range bitch!"