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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus station? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies? He found a hair in one."

"A thimble, a battleship, a car, a wheelbarrow, a top hat, a dog, a shoe, and an iron walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind here, can't be part of a Monopoly."""

"What type of bee makes milk? A boo-bee"

"If you! Use exclamation points!! This often! I want to! Smother you!! And your enthusiasm! With a pillow!!!"

"With KFC's announcement they've created an edible coffee cup, the chain is ready to face its next challenge: creating edible food."

"With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces."

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse... ...on six months of sobriety."

"If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range."